you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They took my balls.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize