Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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