oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
