we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
