it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
