I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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