doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
