i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
of course. lets lasso hookers.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
