No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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