Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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