Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
