dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
