so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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