new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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