okay pat passed out under dana's car
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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