I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
