oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
