at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize