You smell like stripper and shame
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
