Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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