y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
