i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
