Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
