This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We had sex on a dog bed..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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