His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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