I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I seem to have left my pride at pride
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
