Where did you get a picture of my penis
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
