Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
