So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
