I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
