Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
