we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
