i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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