Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
