i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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