Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
