if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize