my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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