I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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