im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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