your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
