I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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