Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
