Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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