Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
