i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
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