I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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