My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize