is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
