she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
