Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
