If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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