Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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