he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
