i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
