She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
