Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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