he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
