I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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