I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize