How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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