Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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