I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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