My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
