nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
