I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
