John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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