party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
